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Post-Baby Wisdom: A Public Retraction

Okay, Timehop. Enough with the reminders from nine years ago.  I said dumb things before I was a parent. Everybody hear that? I want to publicly stand (sit, actually) before you all and say (well, write) OOPS SORRY. Some thoughts:
1. Almost nothing about parenting is as black and white as I thought it was.
2. I didn't truly know tired. Going significant amounts of time without sleep is tantamount to completely losing your sanity. You will do virtually anything to get it back. See Point 3.
3. Some of the things I said I'd never do are the very things I turned around and did to survive. I flipped quicker than a politician after an election.
4. A Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Ed. will prepare you to teach well and school you in child development, but you'll still feel like you know nothing about your own baby sometimes.
5. I was probably least receptive to the advice that ended up being the most helpful in the trenches. "Stop researching." "Prepare to feel like you're doing everything wrong." "You say you'll never do this, but I said that too..." "Just give up." "You have to forgive yourself." Those are some of the most pertinent examples. I might not have loved it at the time, but it came back to me when I needed it desperately. Thank you, wise mamas.
6. I don't think I ever said anything out loud about doing things on my own, but this mindset deserves a place on the list, just in case. I always heard it takes a village to raise a child, but really it takes a village to raise a mother. As a society of women, we are often characterized by a propensity to tear each other down. Why are mommy wars a thing, seriously?! Maybe I feel that online or when the receptionist who knows I'm a stay at home mom with a 15 month old son asks, "So when are you going back to work?" like she thinks my place of employment somehow had better maternity leave than Finland and now it's time for me to get back to a real job, or when a lady at church asked how "taking it easy" was going. You know where I don't feel that? My tribe. I couldn't survive this without them. My mom, my Granny, my best friends (some mothers, some not). These women come around me and make me laugh and give me advice when I ask but don't when I don't. They tell me their stories when I confess my own mistakes. They agree to disagree. They answer my late night texts about mastitis. They are my people. I could not do without them.
7. Side note:In the time it took me to type the first paragraph, my toddler has already raided my diaper bag, chewed on a bottle of gas drops, is now in possession of my keys, and will probably set off the car alarm very soon.
8. Some of the most important things to me were things I did stick to. My goals are still meaningful, but my list of what's important to me is continually being refined by what's most important for Jack. That includes the health of his mama, by the way (more hard advice for me to take sometimes). I'm learning to be more flexible based on what I believe is best for him, and I'm learning to believe I really do know what's best for him, which brings me to...
9. Mother's Intuition is No. Joke.

That concludes for today my public apology and thoughts on this parenting gig. I should get back to responsibly supervising my toddler. He's making me a snack out of a remnant of rainwater in a Frisbee. ☺

Comments

Grandpa Wayne said…
You have evolved into a great MOM, Jack told me so and I agree
Sunday, June 19, 2016
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