Benjamin David McClure entered my life on May 5th, 1993. I was just this side of six years old. When my parents informed me, months earlier, that I was going to have a baby brother, I remember yelling, "Well, we better move that refrigerator!" If my play kitchen set had to be displaced, so be it. I was to be a big sister! In the hospital, I alternated between holding this precious baby (prettiest you ever did see) and barking orders at visitors to wash their hands. From the very beginning, I was thrilled with my new role, despite asking once (once!) about the ramifications of throwing him in a garbage can.
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| In the hospital--his feet were so long! |
Over the years, I tried to bestow all the wisdom my little life had to offer. I have said before that when Ben was born, so was a teacher. Perhaps the first thing Ben taught me was that I wanted to teach. Reading was such a tremendous part of our relationship. I read to him constantly and always thought he was paying attention, although the pictures offer a different view of history.
Determined to give Ben a proper education, I began home-schooling him during his toddler years. When he was old enough to scribble, I assigned homework. As all good brothers should, Ben went along with all of his big sister's schemes. We had adventures, cases, quests, and epic video game odysseys. We also learned every word to the scripts of every Jim Carrey movie and, for extra credit, Wayne's World. As I tried to impart all my sisterly knowledge, a funny thing happened. I realized he was teaching me. The first lesson must have taken place in Walmart. I apologize to my Schnucks friends for the location of the story, but it cannot be helped now. On this particular day, we were in the toy aisle. Ben had asked for a toy, and my mom hesitated. That would have been my cue at his age to let the crying, yelling, kicking episode commence! My father has often told me of the times he had to carry me out of Walmart while people looked on as if he were a child abuser or abductor. Ben, though, was not like me. He put his little head down, said, "Alright, Mama," and went on with his business. He didn't even give her the puppy dog eyes. Have you seen the boy's eyes? Guess who Mom decided to buy the toy for? Lesson learned.
I no longer scream and kick at Walmart...unless people are in my way. My temper, however, remains a bit more...easily engaged. Time and again, I have wished to be more like the boy who simply put his head down for a moment and carried right on with his day.
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| Just trying to read my Berenstain Bears! He wasn't always so calm! |
My brother also fights courageously against the general public's fear of change. He battles with his seemingly infinite knowledge of technology, his pioneering spirit, his desire for everyone to embrace progress, and his Radio Shack name tag. He has a desire for people to learn how to do things for themselves. He has such patience for working with people who are trying to learn, and I have told him more than once that he was born to teach in some capacity. No one in my family will be at risk of being an old curmudgeon who refuses to march on with time. Ben would never let that happen. This crusader will press on, teaching us how to properly use or repair our smart phones (or dumb phone, in my case), surround sound, gaming systems, computers, treadmills (see facebook picture for details), gadgets and gizmos aplenty. He will fix it for you, sure, but he won't leave until you know how to do it yourself.
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| My 21st Birthday-the year I lit my hair on fire with birthday candles |
The most powerful thing Ben continues to teach me is the importance of letting go. He chooses to overcome difficult circumstances without allowing himself to be defined by them. He has humbled me time and again by the way he handles hard times with such grace and strength. Ultimately, he has shown me that by letting go of past hurts and hindrances, I can hold all the more tightly onto what is truly precious.
I cannot believe that the baby I held eighteen years ago will be starting college next fall, yet I've always thought that Ben was a forty-five year old man trapped in a child's body. He has always been an old soul, but he didn't spend four years of high school wishing he was out. He knew that time would pass quickly, and that it shouldn't be wasted. He didn't get himself into trouble but never alienated people that did. He sticks up for the underdogs and stays true to what he believes. He is twenty years ahead of his time and yet more keenly aware of who he is now than anyone I've ever met. Whatever path he chooses, I know he will do incredible things. I will always stand behind him, cheering him on and loving him with my whole heart.
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