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Stoplight Revelations

March 27, 2008:


The thought was familiar and close to my heart...
Yellow
Yellow awhile
Speed up!
S-l-o-w d-o-w-n.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND!


Thinking of my own Trooper (and the one that always idles near the intersection before pulling people over), I came to a graceful stop. As I sat at the stop for what seemed like an hour, pondering how I could have reached my destination already if I had sped up, I tried to give myself a pat on the back. I said to myself, "Self, you aren't in a hurry. You have no deadline. You should slow down and stop for the yellow (more like pink) lights when you have nowhere important to be. Because when you do have somewhere important to be, you almost always try to race the light to red."


Of course my always-connecting, ever-wandering mind tied this simple stoplight thought straight to a reflection on the fate of the world and mindset of human beings. People want everything in a system of checks and balances. 


1 Bad Thing + 2 Good Things= Good Person
2 Bad Things + 1 Good Thing= Bad Person


I wonder if I have ever told anyone that accepting Christ as Lord and Savior is easy. I pray I did not make it quite that simple. I asked Jesus into my heart eleven years ago. I asked for forgiveness, I accepted His offer of salvation, and I asked Him to be the Lord of my life. Today I find myself thinking about my perpetual failure to receive the grace I am promised every day. When I was ten, it was simple. For adults, I think it is much more difficult. Accepting Christ is not just a ticket to Heaven. It's about eternal life and life more abundant on earth. It is about laying down one's life to take up a new life. It's about trusting God to have control. And it is admitting that no matter how people try, no matter now many positives they have on the scale, they are simply not holy enough, not strong enough, not...enough. 


I could not count the number of times I have heard/read/memorized this passage from Ephesians 2:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not of yourselves; it is a gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast."
Yet how many Christians would say they are working their way into Heaven?


The only thing of any significance to God that I can put on the good/bad scale is Jesus, and even the faith it takes to put Him there is a gift from Him. It is a glorious feeling to know that my sins are as far away as the east is from the west. I can't do anything to make it up to Him. I can't do anything to heal myself. I can only fall to my knees with gratitude.


My pride says I need to fix my problems on my own. My fear of relenting control says I need to make sure God knows how my life needs to go. My enemy says, "You aren't worth it." But my God says He saves those who are crushed in Spirit. My God says He has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. My God says He demonstrated His love for me in this: while I was still sinning, He died for me.
-Psalm 34:18, Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 5:8


I praise God that I rest assured of my home in Heaven. I am slowly figuring out how to trust His grace every day in my life. I am also (slowly) figuring out that I'm "enough" because Jesus paid for me to be enough. Through His wounds, I have been healed. 

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